I’ve done ok being present today after hearing the news that two close friends of ours lost a child yesterday–until now. Now I can’t sleep. I keep thinking of how they must feel. He was six months old, one of twins. His parents are a doctor and nurse team in Tchad, Africa, and the babies got malaria. My heart aches for them. We hadn’t seen Adam since he was two months old. But we were the first (besides his parents) to hold him after birth. Now he’s gone.
I am so grateful for email spanning the miles, and the fact that Sarah wrote to me the same day he died. What an honor, to have someone reach out to you in that kind of grief. My pain is for her and James. Little Adam is fortunate to have escaped a life with much pain. And I believe as Sarah wrote that they will see him again–and that they will get to raise him in a world with no pain.
Was it discounting of their pain to tell them that God had just paid them the highest compliment? I hope it spoke comfort as I intended. Losing a child is the hardest suffering in my mind, and for God to ask it of His friends, says He trusts them. If you are trusting God and He allows evil to bring you pain like that, He really trusts you to not let go of His hand. He trusts you to trust Him. I am aware that most marriages don’t survive such a loss. I am confident, however, that theirs will.
Evil uses this to shatter my feeling of safety. God doesn’t keep bad things from happening to his children. I knew that, but I hate the confirmation of it again–seeing it so clearly in those I know so well. The darkside whispers to my mind that God doesn’t care, that He can’t really be trusted to protect you and your loves.
I reject it again. I know we live in a war zone. I know that everything that happens here is not by God’s design.
I have gone over and over this in my mind many times before this. I don’t pretend that evil doesn’t exist here. But I do know that God is the antidote for evil. I do know that He will restore all our losses if we trust Him.
God is on trial here for his character. He has been slandered. Is He fit to rule? The question flourished here for thousands of years.
What better demonstration of his character than for us who are drawn to the evil of negativity, to be suffering and say, “I will still trust You because I know You, and I know this was not from You.” For us to trust God’s love when evil slaps us hard is the most convincing argument that God is love and man is capable of responding to Him and being salvaged. I believe it is very important to billions of unbroken watching worlds who have questions about us.