Separation is a Good Thing

Today is my daughter’s wedding day (Tuesday) and I’m in California and she’s in North Carolina! I was really having a rough time with  it yesterday, but am better today. God helped me with acceptance, showing me that it is a right-of-passage for her. Yet another step in separating from me.

Separation is a good thing on this planet because we tend to glom onto each other to get our need for connection met. Yet you can really only be close to those you have accomplished emotional separation from–especially parents. If you are still dependent on them, you probably have a lot of either emotional distance or drama exhibited in conflict and tension. The same dynamic gets worked out in the first two years (or so) of every successful marriage–that’s why it gets tough. Merging into someone isn’t love and it isn’t healthy, it’s codependency that creates confusion and tension–not to mention power struggles.

So I will celebrate with them from a distance, and hold them close in heart and thought with picture texts. It has already begin with this one:

Yes, they did just get engaged, if you’ve been following this saga. They may hold the record for shortest engagement. He gave her a very personalized ring a week ago, and asked her to marry him. They had decided that neither of them wanted the stress or expense of a wedding. They wanted a very intimate ceremony with just the two of them and God out under a tree while the leaves were turning. They have beautiful old trees around their historic capitol building which is two short blocks from the courthouse.

It’s going to be a beautiful day (72 degrees) and her friend was free to take pictures for them. Her boys are with their dad on vacation with grandparents, so it seemed the perfect time, with a party coming later.

God brought them together is such a unique way, and it proves that whoever seeks God, gets love poured all over them. Yes, they may get hammered by the dark side too, but “God’s love holds them steady as a post” as the card above my daughter’s kitchen sink says.

I loved seeing their steadiness a month ago when I was there, especially his. I could see the little boys felt it too–they’re so relaxed with him.

God bless them. He has so profoundly already. He is the only one you don’t want to separate from. Well truly, sometimes you even need to do that too when you’ve been given bad information about Him–until you get it straightened out and find the true God of Love. He will bless you too, I promise.

http://Godhelps.net

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Filed under Loved, Mental Health, Parenting, Separation

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