Don’t Make Life Hard

It’s been a week of extremes–highs and lows, not a lot of sleep, even the weather. A week ago today it rained, and yet another day (yea! we need it)! It was beautiful in between–our blooming yard loved it and became even prettier. But early this morning the wind became a veritable tempest–I kept saying in my head I hate this wind.

Now I’m wondering if that is the reason I had such a hard time staying positive today–I really struggled, my back hurts to prove it.

I thought it was loss of sleep, hormones, and being cooped up in the house, plus other people’s attitudes. But it was probably where my focus was. I kept coming back to praise, but couldn’t seem to stay there.

I did have one small victory–I de-escalated a confrontation with my husband. Another was booking plane tickets that have been creating pressure. And the routine of cleaning house is somehow centering, so I got through it. I think I could have made it easier, though.

My irritation with the wind must have started the CRH–triggering the inflammatory cascade. I knew I was shooting myself in the foot saying “I hate this wind!” (Early on, I did thank God for wind sweeping my patio. It was a mess yesterday.) I should have put more effort into the thankfulness. Gratitude is such an upper.  And I knew loss of sleep and exposure to illness put me in a compromised state. Your brain brakes go out when you are fatigued, GABA disappears, and it’s hard to hold a boundary when you are tired.

The day had started out so well: extra time with God this morning, His presence changed my fatigue into energy, I exercised, my perspective improved, and then I kept sabotaging it!

This whole mind-body connection is a fearful and wonderful thing. Our thoughts signal chemical changes that make it hard to reverse them. Our choices (even default ones) set up more of the same kind. No wonder Jesus said in so many ways, “Be careful how you see.” In other words, be mindful of what you allow, choose wisely, feelings follow thoughts, actions too. Don’t make life hard.


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