The Site of Your Next Miracle

I’ve proved it. Your problem can be the site of your next miracle!

The last two mornings I’ve awakened flat and empty, with a dark, drab attitude. This morning it was 1:30, so it made sense–I was afraid I wouldn’t go back to sleep–with a full day ahead. But yesterday there was no reason for it.

I hate feeling like that! Often I wake up with praise music in my head, but if I don’t, negativity is soon there. I have chosen not to worry about it, but to get up and spend time with God. I’ve even decided to be like a child, “Can I stay up with you?” or even better, “Hey, can we stay up all night?” Why not get excited and be audacious? I’m writing Exodus now, and Moses was with God on the mountain top 40 days and nights twice, with no food or water, and probably no sleep! He didn’t need it. God’s presence is amazing and sustaining. Moses’ face was so bright when he came down they could barely look at him! I understand this is different, still…

This morning made two downers in a row.  After my positive choices, to wake up flat and empty carries guilt now. It isn’t “just the way I am” anymore, it feels like missing the mark–so I guess it’s more  like shame–not good enough. I used to come into God’s presence any old raggedy way, but now I want to come with rejoicing. But it wasn’t possible this morning. Or so it seemed.

So I sat in his lap and told Him I was sorry and to take over my mind. It was ok, I prayed for people, but still no rejoicing, pretty much flat still.

I turned to my devotional–this year My Utmost for His Highest. It was about sacrificing your right to yourself or to do it your way. Think Abraham–Thanks for the promise God, I’ll make it happen by having a baby with Hagar.

I can get so caught up in things not happening my way! Or not happening at all. (OR happening my way! A few days ago it was two bad spontaneous faux pas! It’s been a rough week.) It could be spiritual opposition because I’ve been writing about God’s law, and while I think it is awesome, amazing and positive, the rules and details can get challenging when you’re trying to write it as a story and I suppose the dark side saw their advantage therein.

Anyway, the miracle is I saw myself. That is still the biggest miracle of all–to see yourself as you really are. It’s usually very painful, but it’s good pain–healing. This time it wasn’t painful; it was relief–like Oh yeah, it must be me, because You are Joy. Why can’t I be continually joyful like You are? I choose Joy. I give up my right to feel bad. You allow things to be challenging in order to move me where You want me. You couldn’t lead Israel out of Egypt in peace because they didn’t want to leave and Moses wasn’t ready to lead Your way. Make me ready! Let me trust You and your leading!

And after that there was joy all day! A full day on only three hours of sleep!


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