A Microcosm of Cosmic Chess

On a cold but cozy afternoon, my daughter and her husband were sharing their birth experience from last week, more like debriefing; and seeing the counterplay of bad and good, I commented, “This was clearly cosmic chess.”

Even though her delivery was scheduled to give greater control, her doctor got called out to an emergency c-section which caused her staff to try to delay her labor. But she was so exhausted from being in light labor all night, she was not ready for extended labor, and started passing out with the contractions. Her nurse thought an epidural would help her, and so she agreed.

However, that caused her blood pressure to  drop to 70/30, and her frantic nurses worked long and hard to get it back up. Suddenly the whole floor was slammed  with patients, and a new doctor was called to cover for her chosen doctor. However, my daughter liked her even better, and felt more comfortable with this lady who was definitely in charge, knew her stuff, and got the bleeding stopped.

With her hemorhage history, the dark side had been trying to  scare me for months, as they always do, and I had been refusing their fear fairly well. (Fortunately,  I didn’t know her bleeding started again during the night.)  The last lie they had pushed was that something would be  wrong with the baby–disfigurment or something, so it isn’t surprising how they set things up, and that the drop in pitocyn had confused both Mom and baby hormone processes. The baby kept turning and getting stuck.  The doctor had to reach in and move her shoulder so she could come out…  when she  did, the chord was wrapped around her neck twice and she was blue, but they were swift in dealing with it, and turned to mommy’s bleeding.

However, at home the hours dragged by, and I was praying, trying not to  be afraid. I was sure she would deliver by noon!! (Her last baby had come 45 minutes after they broke her water!) Then came Jeremy’s text at 2:30 and she was still only at 5! Now it was hard to be calm. What was going on? I was glad I only had Jack–the three older boys had  stayed with their dad–it would have been hard to hide my stress from them.  Finally came the first picture her daddy sent at 6:30, Eileigh was slightly banged up and swollen, and her color didn’t look good, but at least she was born!

I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to go see them—it was too late and they wanted to have the first two hours alone, also to make sure Lox was ok. Jack needed to go to  bed—he’d had a runny nose that we were successful arresting with alkaline food. I was sure with good sleep he’d be well tomorrow.

But his dad wanted us to bring him, so we did. And  I was so happy  to see my daughter and get to hold the baby during  her optimal bonding time (the first four hours).  It was a bit unnerving to hear my daughter say she was sure she wouldn’t have made it if it had been 100 years ago. Or even if she hadn’t been in the hospital. Baby Eileigh had a scrape but looked beautifully like her mother.

Also unnerving was Jack screaming uncontrolably all the 20 minutes home. I was sitting in the back with him an nothing worked, so I finally moved to the seat in front of him and then felt like I’d abandoned him. I don’t remember how he went to bed but it must have been ok, he was exhausted. I was too, but I was amped and couldn’t get to sleep til 1:00. The next morning the alarm went off at 5:00. (They’d asked us to sleep in their room so we could hear Jack, but forgot about the alarm.)  And then I couldn’t go back to sleep.

Jack was fine the next day until he facetimed with them at the hospital and melted down again. This time putting him in his room worked, telling him to scream as long as he needed to and to come out when he was done. But I already knew I wasn’t taking  him to the hospital again. Actually I knew better the night before and wished I’d been strong enough to tell his father. He was happy and would have been fine if he hadn’t seen him.

So I suggested Jeremy come put him to bed that night, which seemed to be a good idea, till Jack dragged it out. Finally, he went to sleep, and Jeremy left, asking me to check on him. My husband and I were already in bed so I went in immediately–afraid I’d fall asleep. I pulled up another blanket ever so lightly and he woke up and started screaming for daddy! (Once again I should have trusted my instincts and gone too sleep!) This time it only lasted about 5 minutes or less,  but then he woke up cold 3 hours later probably from kicking while screaming, and I felt like the world’s worst grandma! He woke again 2 hours after that, but no screaming.  And no more sleep for  me.

The next day they came home and we started to sleep again, but I still got his cold. He hasn’t yet. I’m amazed, but remembered hearing that colds are just uncried tears. I’m sure he had gotten them all out! But I hadn’t!

However, God prevailed, as They always will with our choice. My cold is gone, Jack is sleeping through the night again, and even Lox is doing better. I’m glad I’m still here to help and give her a couple more hours sleep in the mornings. This place can get loud even with the best intentions of four boys (three tracted out of school). And baby Eileigh is wonderful, beautiful, and looks exactly like her mommy did as a baby. It’s amazing and bonding! It’s going to be hard to leave.


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Filed under A God perspective, a perspective on evil, Uncategorized

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