(I’ve waited a year to post this–wrote it on Thanksgiving last year but for some reason didn’t post it. Too vulnerable? Now it’s the season again and I’m ready.)
Have you heard that uncried tears make you sick? I have. I don’t remember when or where, but here’s what just happened. It’s Thanksgiving morning, I woke up with my head hurting and as usual went out to sit with Jesus in my living room and asked Him if He would heal me.
He reminded me of another Thanksgiving when I woke up with the flu, pain everywhere, and He had told me to drink water and breathe. In an hour and fifteen minutes of deep breathing and four glasses of water, the pain that had been all over my body was gone. I got up and started cooking Thanksgiving dinner. It turned out to be one of the best Thanksgivings our family had ever had.
So I started breathing and drinking. But a significant difference was that no sooner had I asked Him to show me what my teeth clenching was about, than He let me see how excited He was to be with me. It began with seeing my grandsons when I fly in. And immediately I started to sob–heavy deep sobs from the gut, more movement than tears.
I was so surprised. Knowing He was that excited to be with me had brought that kind of emotion!
I knew I had a love deficit, it had surprised me when it came up with tears before, but I couldn’t imagine it was this huge. When I asked Him about it, tears came up again! Another round. And I said, “This is crazy, I know my mother was a very loving person.”
And He said “You couldn’t receive it. You wouldn’t believe it.”
And, of course, I cried more. A little grief mixed in, no doubt, she’s been gone four years.
But an interesting side note is that after that the coughing and nose-blowing stopped, and I felt good.
And for those of you who are wondering–yes, I had drank four glasses of water and breathed for an hour and fifteen minutes. So I am a believer that uncried tears make you sick.