Last night as I was cleaning up the kitchen I decided to try dishwasher detergent on the drains. (My friend shared how good it is at lifting crusted food, and I discovered it’s true.) Then I thought of the area behind the faucets and dripped some back there. This morning I came and cleaned, and it really did help, but I still had to use a knife to get most of the buildup behind the faucets. What is that? And how does it get back there? Dust and water crusts like that?
Of course you know that took me somewhere else–my husband got upset with me a week ago and tried telling me about it. Finally, I stopped him and said, “I can’t hear you when you talk like this.” His response was I couldn’t learn from him. I replied that I could and wanted to, but not when he was using that tone of voice and hurtful words like “bumbling through things” to describe me.
We all have emotions, and when our intense emotion matches our words we don’t hear our tone or our words. Perhaps if we didn’t let feelings build up but talked about them before they became so charged, we could deliver constructive criticism in a more loving way.
When we hear a shaming tone, most of us tune out and a crusty something begins to build around our hearts. So yes we all have crusty, build-up on our hearts, we’ve all heard shame and felt it in our hearts–the word God uses for our mainspring. It’s more than just feelings, it includes will and motivation. Desire and delight live there as well. It’s our center.
This morning I was reading about obedience in Deuteronomy and how truly important it would be to Israel in their promised land. Obedience used to feel like a heavy, horrible word to me, but I have learned that it has to come from delight or it isn’t even obedience. So I wrote in my journal, “If obedience is delight, we don’t need to fear it. Delight comes out of a heart that loves, but our hearts only love in a relationship.”
How does one keep a relationship alive? One that delights in taking direction? There is no delight in obedience aside from trust and love! Not for broken humans!
I don’t even want to hear your input unless I trust you and love you, or at least admire you. Perhaps if I know your reputation I might trust you or admire you enough to listen to your thoughts.
That was God’s problem–(still is)–Adonai needed them to love and trust Him. So He continually showed His love and care for these slaves who didn’t know him. He wanted to live with them, even though it was very dangerous for them, because the possibility of Him consuming them was very real if they rebelled or even became too negative. His presence destroys entropy. That scared them. So they knew Him as fire by night and the cloud that led them and shaded them by day. He provided water and food, protection, deliverance, everything to show them they could trust Him and move them into a love relationship with Him.
He even showed His power and majesty before he gave them His law. And the whole watching universe was amazed He would spell out His law, His way. They hadn’t even known there was “law” until Lucifer turned traitor. Their natures were in harmony with it, and everything they did came from delight and desire. They had no hard choices—-until Lucifer became the adversary and brought rebellion (sin/separation) into the kingdom. That was the beginning of heart crustiness.
So Moses says in his farewell address (Deuteronomy), “Circumcise your hearts.” He wanted to impress them how important it was to have a relationship with Adonai like He had. They must honor their covenant. He was grasping for an image that they would remember and take to heart, and this was the best one he found. What does it mean? It must be important.
I don’t think I can do it justice in one or two sentences so I’ll continue it next week.