Tag Archives: growing up

When God doesn’t make Sense

Once again, why is it bad things happen to good people?

Because suffering shows what we are really like–what we are made of–our characters. And character is simply the accumulation of many choices. How will I look at this situation? What perception will I choose?

And as previously mentioned, I believe, based on several instances in scripture, that Satan asks to test each of us. He knows where we are weak, our Achilles’ heal, our tragic flaw; and that is what he excoriates. He attacks us because we want to be with God, because we are His followers, and want to become authentic lovers. He wants to expose us as posers, phonies, pretenders. So I have imagined several of these counsels in heaven where he gets permission to test based on some “truth” he is presenting about us that makes us unfit to be used, unsafe to have around for eternity.

It’s been interesting and engaging, but if I thought Leviticus was difficult, it was easy compared to Numbers.

I understand there are rules of engagement in every war–the agreements to boundaries that are supposed to be adhered to, i.e. no attacks on civilians. What makes it difficult is that God takes responsibility for everything They allow, as well as what They decide and execute. So some of what looks like it’s coming from God isn’t Their ideas or actions; it’s just allowed. Sometimes it’s pretty clear. Other times, not. For instance, why 40 years in the wilderness?

I admit. I’m stumped. Ordinarily, I would say this is Satan’s engineering. And it could be, but it seems to be a theme that becomes the day for a year theory in prophecy after that. Would God go by something Satan demanded once? It seems unlikely. But as of yet, it doesn’t seem to make sense to me; and if you know me, God has to make sense: that is one of my tenants: Everything God does makes sense if you know Them and understand the big picture. That represents the revealed things, the actions in our world, the things we can understand–not the mystery that is beyond us. I’m good with that, but not good with being too lazy to try to understand.

But based on the first 5 episodes, even God’s strange acts make sense, if you think cosmically. That may not be a word yet, but I’m referring to thinking from a cosmic perspective. Knowing Him (Them) and knowing the people, I can’t figure out even from the big-picture, universal-war perspective,  why He would give them, in this situation, a year for a day. It doesn’t make any sense yet. So back to more time with God. I’ve been to this place several times, and He has always shown me something I’ve overlooked or didn’t understand. I’m sure Ruach will do it again!

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Filed under A God perspective, a perspective on evil, Love ed, Loved, Respect and disrespect, suffering, Uncategorized, What is God like?, When religion gets it wrong...

The Hard and Soft Side of Love

I have a friend who is struggling with his son constantly pushing the limits, always testing, needing someone who cares enough to set and hold limits.

My friend’s fear? That he will ruin his kid–who will grow up hating his father if he disciplines too much. He loved his dad who disciplined him–it’s not coming from there. His wife is overly soft–she may have gotten to him.

I repeatedly assure him that limits are where security comes from–knowing that someone cares enough to fight with you because you are worth it. Also knowing that someone bigger and trustworthy is in charge.

I’ve written about this so-necessary side of love before;  it is something parents really struggle with today.

This morning, sitting with God, it occurred to me that my insecurity comes from the same place.

I desperately want to know I can relax and be the carefree child growing up in an atmosphere of complete trust. Knowing One greater than me is in control overseeing like a loving parent, careful to filter out all truly bad things, but allowing those I need for my own development.

My own parents were permissive. And unfortunately I, too, passed it on.

So I know where it came from, but why is this so hard for me to get? I mean really “get.” I know it intellectually. But to have it in my cells–every one of them–so I can trust this God I call Father. The one I get up to sit with just because I want to be in His Presence, because I want to soak in His love and feel it, because I want it to heal me so I can relax and be me–no thought, no effort, just be.

I want to live loving everything, confident that whatever is allowed in my life has been filtered by the gentlest hand and I can accept it with confidence and grace, knowing I am loved.

I saw Exodus over the holidays, and I didn’t like their picture of God any more than the one in Noah. Ugh, they were both portrayed as distant, uncaring, vengeful. I suppose they want to make Him look strong. But can’t God be strong and not vengeful? Can’t He be pictured as involved and not codependent?

I think so. I’m not too far from parents today who want there kids to have all good things. But I KNOW that isn’t going to make them happy. Happiness comes from inside. From making choices, sometimes hard ones, from knowing you’ve done the right thing even when it isn’t easy. I know we all need our pain, and we are hard-wired for struggle, but truth be told, I want a God who is all sweetness and light.

Or do I?

I want a God who is strong enough to deal with evil. One who is strong enough to protect me and those I love. One who is wise enough to guide me through the things I need to learn to grow up.

I want a God strong enough to deal with evil–to eradicate suffering and pain. I want a God good enough to know my true heart, as well as the hearts of those I love. I want a God much, much bigger than me, who is totally trustworthy.

I want a God who is all good, but strong enough to do the hard stuff that needs to be done.

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Filed under A God perspective, a perspective on evil, Becoming real, Love ed, Loved, Parenting, suffering, Uncategorized, What is God like?