The following fits so well with what I’ve been talking about lately, I just had to share it. It’s a guest post from therapist Peter Pearson.
I was talking with a couple the other day and they told me about an experiment they were trying.
It was so brilliant I wanted to pass it on as another tip.
Here’s what the man had said to his wife:
“I will give you twenty minutes a day. You have my complete attention to direct me any way you wish. I will do chores, parenting responsibilities, discuss a topic of your choice, hold down the fort while you do something that feels refreshing and nurturing for yourself, or even gaze into your eyes if you wish.”
Think about it. A twenty-minute gift to his wife every day.
Her immediate response? “Wow,! I can’t believe it! This is too good to be true. He is such a workaholic. And now he is going to do this – for me?”
After going through this new routine for a couple of days, she thought “I want to give him back something for his generosity.”
Their process of mutually giving and receiving increased.
On his part it was a leap of faith. Yes, he had the thought, “What the heck am I getting into? What am I setting myself up for? Will this make me her slave… will she lose respect for me?”
It was an emotional risk. It would take effort.
But it turned out to have big unexpected rewards.
Are you willing to donate twenty minutes a day for your marital or relationship makeover? What if you start with this generous offer today?
You are giving a gift to the most important adult in your life. Is enhancing this key relationship worth twenty minutes?
The power of twenty minutes is exceptional. You now have it in your hands. There will be unexpected rewards but please don’t try to predict them.
Just be open to a new experience.