Tag Archives: trust

How We Grow

I was at a high school reunion a last month. Fifty years later almost all of us were recognizable–the women more than the men! It was crazy. We all had added wrinkles but for the most part we all looked the same as we had. We went to a small school so we had known each other fairly well.

What I noticed was that eyes were different. One set told of allergies, but the look was the same, just more confident and secure. Most eyes told of more security, more sense of self, less needing to hide. One set showed new peace, one, bitterness, coming out of similar situations. Almost all of us had been through a divorce. All of us through death of at least one parent. I think all of us have children.

It was so interesting to see the choices of how we had related to life happenings. We had all suffered, and come through different, but I was so grateful to see that for most of us, our faith and self was in tact.

The five who still had intact marriages (two of them married to each other) had suffered too, but seemed more settled, more secure, and they hadn’t let their looks go either. That was good to see.

When people asked if I was married, I said “presently.” And they all were understanding. Most of them were eager to hear about my writing, and eager to share things that were exciting to their understanding of God, It was a great time, especially enhanced by getting to be with my three sisters too, and a close friend on her birthday!

It was a great reminder of how we grow. Not grow up as in age, but grow in attitude. You’ve probably heard you just get more like you are, so when you are old if you were self-centered or angry, you are more self-centered and angry as an old person. Time doesn’t necessarily modify that. However, experience can. It depends on our choices.

The past two days we’ve been dealing with fires here again. On either end of our city, and the wind has been in our favor. We feel so cared for, so blessed, but I wonder. What if we had been one whose home had burned? Would we feel cared for and blessed then? Would we choose to feel unloved? abandoned? bitter? It’s so easy.

Or would we choose to feel honored because God trusts us to go through something so hard? When we choose to go through something hard gracefully, trusting in the goodness of God, we grow.

We also have parents who lost college-age children this week in a random mass shooting here. That has to be the hardest experience of all. I don’t know if you can go through it with grace. I hope I don’t have to find out, but I know God can carry you at really difficult times–They have done it for me. I experienced it when my little brother died at 22. And my parents did well, as far as I could tell.

All of us will go through pain here. It is the nature of the turf. But if you know God is filtering your experiences because He knows what you can and can’t handle, it makes it so much better. Pain is pain, no matter, but how do you choose to see it? How do you choose to understand it?

Victor Frankel wrote about surviving concentration camps and said the people who got through it are the ones who can assign meaning to it. They can come through without bitterness. He did, and made a great contribution to psychology in Man’s Search for Meaning- a very readable book.

I watch my daughter and am amazed at her resilience! The things she goes through with a great attitude! It isn’t just her personality. I know her. It definitely comes by choice.  It’s how we grow.

I know we are caught in a war between good and evil. I also know good is going to win. (I read the end of the book.) God, let me be one of those people who takes what comes as You trusting me to speak well of You no matter what. I want to take the honor and give it back to You. You’ve honored us with vindicating Your character–claiming we are capable of knowing You, of suffering and still loving. And You will win. I want to choose love.

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He Keeps His Promises

This is from my daughter’s post on her face book account this past week. Her birthday was Friday, so I looked in the closet to see if I still had it. After the fourth boy, I didn’t want her to try for a girl. The boys are wonderful and enough, (even though I know the friendship of a daughter is special after they are all married.) God told her she was going to have a girl, and we were so sure Jack (her fourth boy) would be her girl.

So I did have thoughts of giving it away, because I was done for her. I told her God just needed a few good men. (Her pregnancies and births are hard,  and hard on me as well!) But for some reason I didn’t give it away. And she just told me she is having a girl just after Christmas. So I sent it to her last week with her birthday present and a note of four words on it.

This is her response below a picture of it.

“My mama sent this to me this week. It looks like just a darling little baby romper but it’s infinitely more than that. She and I were shopping one day, a month after I found out I was pregnant, with Wade. 14 years ago. We saw it and she loved it and bought it just based on my heart telling me God would give me a girl.

Little did we know it would take all those years and four glorious boys before that promise would become reality. She saved it all along. She sent a note with it that said simply, “God keeps His promises”. He certainly does. It’s even exactly the size Eileigh will need for the summer. The greatest gift is not the outfit but my mama who journeys with me and lives the same faith, who makes the glory brighter because she sees it just the way I do.”

It touched my mama-heart, and I wanted to share it.

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The lens of surrender

the lens of Surrender:

  • guest post by Loxlia
  • notice this was written 3 years ago today–so good
Tuesday, September 18, 2012 7:37 AM

When you are surrounded by darkness there are moments that you actually feel the fragments of your heart slipping to the floor.Sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor. A tiny, fragile body seizing. My hand running over his smallness. Memorizing the shape of him. This moment wrapped up in the contrast of life and death. Of agony and joy.

And yet in Peace I sit aware of the Joy flowing out of my heart. Knowing for certain by the very existence of him, of this moment, that there is nothing that could extinguish my Heart.

It is the very contrast. The contradiction of the reality and the Joy that my heart is basking in that allows me to Live. To feel my breath. To Love.

Perspective. The surrender of your focus. The ability to always look up. Reach up. To choose His view.

He is the only true source of Joy.

To Trust. To give it all back freely. Not in some act of performance or ritual. But in the pure-open-hearted living of only His will.

The audacious surrender of life. Of Clinging to nothing but Him. It is the only way to offer love.

To give of your heart with reckless abandon secure in the safety of His Love.

Knowing that what you offer is only whole and complete when drawn from the Source.

When the pouring out of your time, your life, your joy comes with no expectation, no self-centered need then it has Real Value.

When the cost is immeasurable but the value still greater then there is true Worth in the offering.

True Perspective is viewing life through a lens of Surrender.


“So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ-that’s where the action is. See things from His perspective.” Colossians 3:1-2 MSG



Posted By Loxlia to lovelycrumbs at 9/18/2012 10:37:00 AM

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