Tag Archives: trusting God

He Keeps His Promises

This is from my daughter’s post on her face book account this past week. Her birthday was Friday, so I looked in the closet to see if I still had it. After the fourth boy, I didn’t want her to try for a girl. The boys are wonderful and enough, (even though I know the friendship of a daughter is special after they are all married.) God told her she was going to have a girl, and we were so sure Jack (her fourth boy) would be her girl.

So I did have thoughts of giving it away, because I was done for her. I told her God just needed a few good men. (Her pregnancies and births are hard,  and hard on me as well!) But for some reason I didn’t give it away. And she just told me she is having a girl just after Christmas. So I sent it to her last week with her birthday present and a note of four words on it.

This is her response below a picture of it.

“My mama sent this to me this week. It looks like just a darling little baby romper but it’s infinitely more than that. She and I were shopping one day, a month after I found out I was pregnant, with Wade. 14 years ago. We saw it and she loved it and bought it just based on my heart telling me God would give me a girl.

Little did we know it would take all those years and four glorious boys before that promise would become reality. She saved it all along. She sent a note with it that said simply, “God keeps His promises”. He certainly does. It’s even exactly the size Eileigh will need for the summer. The greatest gift is not the outfit but my mama who journeys with me and lives the same faith, who makes the glory brighter because she sees it just the way I do.”

It touched my mama-heart, and I wanted to share it.


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Making God Real

I had a client a while back who used to say “I can’t make Him real” every time we talked about God and having a relationship with Him.

I would always answer, “you don’t need to. He is real.”

After some time I got exasperated with her insistence, but I discovered that it was stuck in me. How was I making God real? I prayed to Abba, I read and wrote about Jesus, I talked to Ruach (Holy Spirit), and thanked Him for His presence, but was I making them real? Did I perceive Them as real persons present in my life? Did I really talk to Them or just make demands? Did I listen to Them and take it seriously?

I’m having a retreat at my house this weekend. Last night we sat around a fire sharing miracles. It came to the everyday miracles as the most important. We often can’t tell what God is doing on a grander scale as in someone’s healing and God’s plans to use that or death. But we can see the little things–like my calm and patience taking care of my husband while getting ready for a retreat…God helping me see all the good in that. Or the lack of fear when he fell on Friday and panicked, and I was perfectly calm and unafraid.

I couldn’t figure out why I felt so negative going into the retreat and it really bothered me, until I realized that it was that inflammatory cascade again! I was mad I had missed the special prayer over our associate pastor who is fighting stage four cancer at church (I stayed home with my husband). I heard it was beautiful and powerful. And that allowed my fatigue, irritation with people not showing up,  sleeping through my time with God that morning, and my hurt and confusion over unanswered prayer for friends, and it all started the negativity flowing. So afterwards I was repentant and in total self-disdain.

This morning after five solid hours, He woke me and I felt rested and glad to get up for some extra time with Him. And He showed me that it really is all about trusting His eternal holy love in wild and passionate caring for me. I had a lie stuck in me–a leftover from an unanswered prayer that I didn’t understand until ten years later– What if He doesn’t… This version was What if He doesn’t show up?

That’s crazy because He had planned it, giving me the format and the questions. But what if people didn’t respond? I wanted Him to do something huge. (And of course it’s all about me–even my irritation that the pastor couldn’t come. I said How can you have a leadership retreat without the leader? And He said, “Uh, who is the leader?” Right! Got it! So it’s my not feeling valued!) So, good as He is, He told me the truth and healed it for asking.

Besides that, They outdid Themselves and gave us the perfect day: sunny, blue-skies, and 72 degrees! It was an outdoor event. And we had a Mockingbird, Mourning Dove and others serenading. I love mornings–love having company in the morning. Add some of my favorite people and I was ecstatic!

They even did more! I was hoping for something huge and the associate pastor who was prayed for yesterday, came and stayed four hours! She was able to do my stairs to the gazebo, and eat and keep it down! Evidence of healing.

Then, if that wasn’t enough, he brought the pastor and his wife to share a miracle they had just experienced that confirmed what God was telling us! Wow we were so blessed! All of us!

But I was especially! I felt especially loved!

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Trust is a Gift

Evelyn and I first met on a mission trip we were both on. We didn’t really get to know each other well, but I loved her openness, sweetness and authenticity. Especially after we were back. We would see each other at church on occasion and she was always so happy to see me and so sweet.

Then three years later her husband died of a heart attack while playing basketball, leaving her with  5 yr. old and 7 yr old boys. She was devastated. All of us were shocked, and grieved with her. We got better acquainted after that, sharing breakfast on my sun-drenched patio now and again after she had taken the boys to school. She liked talking to my husband who had lost his first wife through death. We became close but not super close–I was old enough to be her mom (who had also died when Evelyn was 18).

About three years ago she moved away, but we still saw her on occasion when she and the boys came back for the weekend.

Then last weekend my husband and I ended up going to her town to the VA hospital. I texted and asked if I could crash on her couch. She replied she had a bed for me, and came up and sat with me the last hour of Richard’s 7-hour surgery. She and her boys welcomed me into their home with open arms. She even gave me a key since they were going out of town the next day, saying she wanted me to be able to come and go. Her trust felt like a gift.

One night stretched into two and three, and since one of my issues has been being wanted, I started to get uncomfortable when I knew there would be a fourth. I always remember Ben Franklin’s pithy, “Fish and visitors stink in three days.” She assured me it was fine, and when I texted her from the hospital that I would either have to wash clothes or go home that afternoon, she said, “Of course! Don’t go home!”

Monday I ran into one of my former students who is now a nephrologist (kidney specialist) at the VA hospital. He was so surprised and came to visit my husband, telling him what a wonderful effect I’d had on his life.  What a sweet surprise!

Tuesday, when I was uncomfortable about staying so long,  Evelyn got a disturbing message.  I was so glad I could be there for her. We read it together and sat up talking until midnight. She was back to herself the next day determined not to let the slanderer rent space in her head that she paid for (my words, not hers). I was amazed at her resilience, and applauded it.

We were supposed to leave the next day but once again they decided to keep Richard because they couldn’t  find the infection. Thursday morning my husband called saying they were releasing him, and I told them all good by. The boys were disappointed that I couldn’t come to their concert that night, and asked if I’d stay until it was over. That morning his kidney function looked bad and they decided to keep him another night. Sigh~ but I got to go to the concert after all, and the boys were happy. At the concert I ran into a grade school friend I hadn’t seen in years and we set up a lunch date on our follow-up visit.

We finally did leave the next day. And the best part was Evelyn texting me,
“I’m going to miss you!”

What a blessing it is to be trusted! What a gift!

That was going to be the end until I realized that God also had trusted me with His gifts of people and friendships. Trust is a great gift.

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