How in the World…?

Have you heard about the studies on memory? There’s a good reason to NOT insist that you know, that you are right: you are most likely wrong. Memory is very subjective. Most of us distort things that happen, or the things we hear, or what we think we remember.

Maybe you noticed that I did it in my last blog. I quoted God’s promise of a new heart as in Ezekiel 33:33 from memory, intending to check it before I hit publish. But I forgot. I knew it was great numbers, but also knew I should check. Well, I checked on it this morning, and it isn’t 33:33; it is 36:26, and I was embarrassed.

Most probably none of you looked, but someone may have just because it is a great reference–like No way! too good to be true. The numbers were too good to be true, the promise isn’t.

I can tell you I have my promised new heart. But I have noticed something very curious. When Spirit first confronted me on my hard heart, and gave me a new one, just for admitting my hard one and my need, it seemed much better. I was so different it was amazing to me. I loved it. But it was more like He had given me His heart as a loaner, until I had sense to ask for myself. Maybe just to show me the difference?

I don’t know. But the one I got on my request is much more like me. It definitely feels like mine. It is still better, easier to be nice, no need to fight, not self-protective, but it has my quirks. My first experience (His loaner) was not even having a feeling of resistance or threat or protecting myself. It felt like complete freedom! I wasn’t watching if “he” was doing things right, I wasn’t worried about anything! God would handle it or it didn’t matter. Even my husband noticed and said I was different!

And with my new heart I’m finding I can worry if I want. I can still squeak when he opens the oven on my popovers! And he can still say, “You haven’t changed,” in response. I think that was disappointing for both of us.

What did we think, that I’d be perfect? Nobody is ever going to be perfect here. The closer you get to God the more you see your faults. But it doesn’t feel as bad as long, because you know that He (They) are so gentle and tender and forgiving.

It’s all about perspective. Where you focus. I say this a lot, you will see what you are looking for--and it’s so true. But then there is the balance. You have to have your eyes open to come out of denial. Parents can often miss things that their kids need real help with because they don’t want to see it.

It’s difficult to live in an evil world! David expressed it with pathos in Psalm 55-59. The only safe place for hope is God. The only real one you can trust is God. The only goodness you can count on is God. And you can choose to praise Him!

When you live with your new heart, when you keep your eyes on Him, you can still be free and happy! But it is a choice. As Martin Doblmeier, an award-winning film maker, says, “If we are constantly moving, why not choose to move toward what is good, following the path toward what you believe to be sacred?” He’s talking about growing, and I would say, Yes! There are Three (Abba, Jesus, Spirit) who long to help us!


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