Tag Archives: Love

Would You Like a Joyful Heart?

Do you know how it feels to live with a joyful heart? It is one of the best experiences I know, yet it isn’t easy for me–it doesn’t come naturally. I’ve always thought it was just my mostly-melancholy temperament to blame, but I’m discovering that most people struggle to live in joy.

There are just so many things that work against it: our hormones, our health, our perception of others, the things we do for pleasure from food to drink to drugs all have a negative aftermath. Add these in the people around us. We certainly have no control over their choices, actions and words. It seems our joy is doomed.

But there is an antidote in Psalms 105 that I read this morning: “Exult in His hallowed name; Let those who seek the Lord be joyful in heart.”

There is a lot of instruction in the verses around that one: seek His presence always, turn to the Lord your strength, think upon all His wonders, remember what He has done, sing to honor Him, give Him thanks. Good stuff. But the one that caught me was “Exult in His hallowed name.” What does that mean?

“Exult” is like celebrating victory in war. “His hallowed name” is God’s very special all-good character. We can celebrate that God is all good. And since we live in a war, that is important. Especially because we are so used to this war zone we forget about it.

However, if we seek Him, spend time alone with Him, we are allowing ourselves to exult in joy! We are educating our hearts to be joyful. That just means we fill them with joy.

We celebrate love tomorrow in Valentines Day. But we can celebrate God’s amazing love every single day. He has the capacity to be up close and personal with each of us all the time. Imagine having a lover with you all the time whose presence gives you a lift, fills you with the feeling of sunshine, makes you feel more than yourself, like you can do or be anything you want, but mostly you just are constantly mindful of being LOVED.

I’ve been asked to teach on John 17 today, and the preparation has been rich. It’s the prayer Jesus prayed for all of us who would respond to Him. He was asking God to make us one with Them. Wow! We can have everything Jesus got from Abba! And He got the JOY that carried Him through the worst abuse and death ever.

That joy was resting in what He knew: He knew when he cried, “It is finished” from the cross, His triumph would be exulted in all over the universe–celebrated from world to world, evil would be done in the universe, Satan’s kingdom finished after all questions are answered here.

He knew and rejoiced that he could do more for us who stay connected to Him than we could ask or even imagine. (Eph. 3:20)  We can surmount impossibilities, rising on eagles wings. (Isaiah 40:31)  We have hope in everything because we are linked to God through amazing love. Power to resist evil, that hell can’t overpower, is ours.

If we focused on what we have, instead of what we don’t have, the love available to us, instead of our fears, we would live in joy. Once again, it’s a choice. Sometimes a choice you have to make every hour, or half hour.

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Being Real is Messy

I hate messy!

So why am I a therapist?

That’s different. I’m good at professionally helping people find themselves and fix their issues.

But I don’t like it when my kids are messy, or my friends are messy. They don’t come to me asking for help. They don’t show me their vulnerability. They want me to think they have it all together. Shoot, they don’t even know they have issues! Don’t even know…

And yet I’m called to love them.

How? How do I do this?

Do I have to just trust them? Like what I can like, and love the rest?

Really?

I can’t even tell them what I see?

“No. Not unless they ask.”

God, this is too hard!

This is what You do? Really?

I can’t do this. I don’t want to.

“That is exactly why you have to let me do it for you…and I can…if you let me.”

But I don’t want to.

“But you can choose, and I will do the rest.”

Are You saying I can’t be God in their lives?

“Exactly, you can’t, because you can’t. You just can’t. It makes you uptight and stressed. And it sounds judgmental coming from you–unless you don’t know you are speaking for Me.”

I don’t get it. I don’t know how to love like that.

“You just need to help them see Me by making them feel valued. Choose to value them because I do. I’ll do the rest.”

Does this mean that I believe I can only love perfect people?

“Pretty close.”

I made my daughter believe that she had to be perfect for me to love her, didn’t I?

“You had a lot of help.”

Please forgive me. Tell me the truth, and heal my lie that I can only love perfect people.

“The truth is there are no perfect people for you to love. And yet loving is what makes you like Me. You are learning to let me love you. Now just let me use you to love them.”

Thanks. Please heal my fear of loving and being loved.

“I’d like that; don’t forget it’s a process.”

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Filed under A God perspective, Becoming real, Love ed, Loved, Mental Health

“How Can I be Happy?”

“I need to find something to make me happy!” she said with such feeling that I knew she believed it.

So I responded simply, “Why?”

Her look was shocked silent, disbelief taking her words. Why would she say that? Didn’t she hear me?

So I continued, “Why not just be happy because you can?”

I knew it sounded counter intuitive. She was going through a break-up she didn’t want. But as I explained that happiness is a choice, I saw first confusion, and then light coming from her eyes.

“That is what I tell people about my job!” She exclaimed. “They have always wondered how I can like working in people’s mouths all day. And I tell them I choose to focus on all the good things about it.”

“So you have a template!” I encouraged.

“Yes!” she was getting excited, “But I never knew happiness was a choice! My choice!”

As a therapist, I hear, “How can I be happy?” or “How can I find happiness?” stated in many ways; most often it comes as a wail, “I just wanna be happy!”

But it is always about the same thing “How can I get myself loved?” They wouldn’t say that, who’s going to ask “How can I find someone who will love me unconditionally just for me?” We don’t usually say things like that.

Seriously? The fastest and easiest way to get yourself loved is God. Because it’s already happening. All you need to do is plug in. You may have heard that before, or wondered how to do it, or what He is like. You may not know He is the best place to start, insuring a healthier human relationship if you get loved first and listen…

The how to is choice again. And as to what He’s like…

He’s everything good. He’s gotten a lot of bad press because of suffering. But even though He gets blamed for suffering, He isn’t responsible for it.

That is a long discussion, one I’ve written a 300 page book on, and another 45 page one soon to be released, so here let’s cut to the question–What is God like? And How can I know Him (Her, Them)?

The video below, “You Love Me,” is my experience of knowing God. You, too, are Loved. It’s who God is. It’s what He does. He has no evil in Him.

I got into making mind movies a while back, and I made the one below for me. (I’d had a rough week.)

I decided to share it here with you because it made me feel so good. Also, I got very good feedback from a client whose week was much worse than mine.

It’s only about a minute, and you can watch it as many times as you want. In fact, you can put it on your site or your phone. If you like it–check out my blog about God at http://Godhelps.net/God-in-a-Box and find out for yourself what He’s like and how to know you are loved.

yep, I saw the mistake this morning after posting it, and after watching it for months–only God is perfect 🙂

http://Godhelps.net/God-in-a-Box for discovering how much you are loved

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Guest Post–Another Message to My Grandsons from Their Mom–this one about Love.

There are really only three.Three things I want you to know about life.. About you.I’ll start at the bottom and work up…

Beauty. Woman. She will get to you someday. You’ll suddenly notice.

And when you do I want you to know what to look for.

It will matter. Really matter.

Look closely. Very closely.

Don’t. ever. settle.

One more time…

Don’t. ever. settle.

There are very few Real women out there. Fewer as the years go by and we lose sight of what matters.

But I’ll tell you what matters.

The very top of the list…

Until He is her everything you will never be enough for her. 

Read it again. It’s true.

Unless she knows that only He sustains every. single. fragment. of her heart you will never be able to carry the weight of it. You weren’t made to.

You were made to be her anchor, her steady. The Gift bound in the privilege of Loving. Unless she can see you as a Gift and not a necessity, love will come hard. Only He can fill a heart and make it whole. We cannot ever truly love apart from Him.

You can try, but all those efforts will run right through her wounded heart. We all have wounds. You will too. Some, no doubt, unfortunately inflicted by my messy humanity. But it’s not our wounds that define us.

It’s what we do with them.

Who we take them to. Only He can speak Truth into shattered hearts and make them whole.

And Healing. Scraping wounds clean. The Refining fire. It’s painful. And most of us never go there. We live numb, surviving lives and try to quiet the heart in our chest longing for more.

Only a Living heart can love.

You cannot selectively numb parts of it. If you kill it, you feel nothing.

So let Him choose her. Listen.

Really Listen.

Look closely. Who is she?

How does she treat others? Her family? Her father?

It really matters.

Are they open? Can they talk and understand and move through conflict with respect? Do they live in a spirit of judgement or grace? 

Is Christ truly her center or some sidebar reference brought out only when needed?

Is she comfortable with who she is? A woman who knows who she is will make you more simply by believing in you.

In the face of struggle does she fling her emotions around looking for a place to land? A woman who know’s Who’s she is will rest in His heart. Stand strong and steady even as the tears spill.

Does she really want to live? To share the Adventure, the Passion, the Wild Grace He spills everywhere? You were made to live a great Adventure. Fight battles for His heart. The only thing that makes that purpose full is truly sharing it.

Is she Beautiful? Yes, I mean that kind. Does she make your heart flutter and swirl? We all like to say it doesn’t matter but it does. That doesn’t mean everyone will see her that way. But He makes every. single. woman. Beautiful and you will find one that speaks His glory to you. In a way that invites you to be more, do more, seek more. 

The way she sees you will make you more.

I have to say it again. The way she looks at you will make you strengthen in your core right there in that moment. Notice it. Feel it.

When you find her. You will want to offer your strength.

And everything in this world will try to tell you you’re not enough. That’s been the lie, the legacy, since the very first lie. The passivity inherited from your very first ancestor.

You must fight for your heart. For hers. You are the Warrior made in the image of the King.

This life is a battle for hearts. And when you find yourself woven into the Gift of a heart that belongs to Him, you fight. To protect it. To strengthen it. To value it.

Love is not need, it is the celebration of a Gift given just to you. 

A Whisper of His Beauty just for you to enjoy. Every breeze, every star, every ray of light, every Breath of Him expands when shared. Cherish it. Celebrate it. Honor it.

And know you are enough.

Real love. His love flowing through her will never diminish you. The woman, the Gift He gives, will always be an invitation to His heart. 

Love with your whole heart. When He whispers, take the leap. And know that everything He gives is always Good.

Trust Him with your heart. Always.







Posted By Loxlia to lovelycrumbs at 5/23/2013 07:16:00 PM

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Filed under Love ed, Loved, Mental Health, Parenting, Respect and disrespect