Dealing with Default Mode

How can you “be careful how you see”? This week I’ve been struggling with someone who easily gives into fear because it has made such inroads into her psyche, through no fault of her own. I’m afraid for her that she will lose her ability to choose, which is really the only power we have.

In any addictions program, the first thing you learn is that you are powerless against the habits and urges you have set up in those hundreds of default choices you’ve made. It becomes not a path in your brain, but more a freeway of magnetic attraction or response. You lose your power.

It can happen also with fear. Hundreds of default choices, because we are all born into fear, draw us to fear instead of faith. Can we trust God? Is He real? Is He really good? Will He come through? Why doesn’t He do something? He allows bad things to happen…and on and on it goes.

In our doubts we all live in a trauma groove, in some the groove is just deeper. Will we choose faith? We don’t have to naturally possess faith. We don’t have to manufacture it. We can ask for it and God will give it.

Faith is belief in love, and love is the antidote for fear. If you weren’t well loved you will have to choose a lot–just because you want it. It is a better way to live than fear. Scripture says God is love. It also says God is freedom, so love and freedom are the same thing. Submission to God’s love makes us free to be us. If we want to do it our way, He will let us, but we will miss us. I know I say that a lot, but it is so true. And it can be scary. Especially if you are watching kids, spouses, friends go their own way.

But then too, especially then, we have to trust the Love that loves more than we do, sees all, knows all, is so creative, and is never surprised. That is where I am. If you are there too, know you aren’t alone.

There really is no other good option than trusting Love. We can’t control other adults. Can’t. Sometimes not even when we think they aren’t capable of making a good decision. All you can do is surrender that person to God’s care, and know whatever happens He will be with you and you will get through it.

Fear is the only other option we have, and that is definitely enemy territory. Don’t stay there. Choose to trust. Fear will start the inflammatory cascade that will make everything look hopeless. No matter what the outcome is, if you have no control, you have no responsibility.

I am writing this for myself, but if you need it I hope it helps you too.


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