My daughter tells her friends that her sister is the next Martha Stewart. That’s my other daughter–she has fine-tuned house-keeping, cooking and baking to a science. She would be aghast that I had a basket of unfolded clean laundry sitting in my garage for five days because I just couldn’t get to it. And it didn’t even matter–it was mine and I didn’t care. Oh the bliss of not having to take care of anyone but yourself and a recovering husband, who is doing much better.

This week I kept thinking of all the things I’ve learned from her. As I would splatter stuff I was cooking, I would think, Now what would she have done to prevent that? She would take her time and be purposeful–enjoy the process. She would use two hands. Not like me who is always rushing and trying to mix something with one hand while I’m getting something out of the cupboard with the other.

Some of it, I have already figured out from watching her. She gets everything she needs out before she starts baking something. (Both daughters do, come to think of it. Wonder where they got that?) She measures it, gets everything ready, and as she uses it, puts it away. Everything is very smooth; not like me, who as I need it, grab it from the cupboard, smearing coconut oil, or whatever else is on my hands, all over it. So I can’t possibly put it away until it’s cleaned off! And since I’m rushing I don’t have time anyway. By the time I’m finished every surface in the kitchen is covered, and clean up is a huge, but gratifying task.

One morning her boys helped me make waffles for her and the kitchen was such a mess we wouldn’t even let her look at it. She would have had a heart attack! But I did get it all back to normal again.

I used to think I could write a book like Everything I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, only change the title to …I Learned from My Daughter. She has a gift for research and application. Right now she’s into health again, having struggled with her own heart and blood issues. Now she has discovered that sugar is even worse for her than wheat or gluten! I want to say it sounds familiar, but what’s the point, it’s only worth-while and applicable when she discovers it.

That’s a great point that was made in a meeting I was in last week. “Your  twenty-to-thirty-something kids have to find the answers for themselves.” The better you are at getting out of the way and listening without leading, the better they will do. You just ask questions, cheer them on and they will be fine. It has to be theirs–not yours. They are discovering their own truths and values because they have to be theirs, not yours. They might end up very close to yours, might be better than yours, but they can’t be yours–they have to be theirs. Trust God with them, and the values you’ve modeled. That’s what they caught.


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